Death and Dying

Bobbi Salkeld

May 25

Written By Kevin Borst

Sunday, May 25, 2025

Scriptures: Matthew 9:18-26

Summary: In the fourth sermon of our series Strange New World, Bobbi explores partnership and marriage. Cultivate relationships that can flourish.
Summary: In the last sermon of our series, Strange New World, Bobbi talks about death and dying. She explores Jesus’ words and deeds in Matthew 9, two different types of death, two different types of time, and medieval ways of handling dying.
*This sermon addresses topics of death, loss, and grief. And, although this discussion guide will not go into those topics too in-depth, please use your discretion as an individual or as a group while using this guide. If you need someone to hear your story please don’t hesitate to reach out to the team at Commons.
Grief: Grief, if it hasn’t already, will afflict us all—no matter who we are. We might ask, “is there some way to undo this?” Bobbi says, this desire is perfectly normal. In that way, we are not unlike the “leader” in Matthew 9, who seeks out Jesus to undo the death in his life.
Small ‘d,’ big ‘D’ death: Bobbi delineates between two different types of death. The first death is the natural entropy of our selves, mortality, and illness. The latter death is marginalization and isolation from community. Jesus, on his way to heal the leader’s daughter, encounters a hemorrhaging woman. Bobbi highlights the two types of death on display in this story and offers a helpful model of working through grief. In the midst of bereavement we might shift back and forth between a loss-oriented life and a restoration-oriented life.
Ordinary and eternal time: Christian funerals honour both ordinary time—that which is linear and temporary; and eternal time—that which is divine, where all things are renewed. Funerals mark the end of a life while pointing toward the mystery of God’s renewal. When we gather in that tension, God is sure to meet us with comfort and hope.
Ars Moriendi: By drawing from the written work of Christians who survived and reflected on the Black Plague, Bobbi poses the question, “how do we live in the shadow of death and dying?” She offers a checklist to help us navigate death and dying. First, not to be afraid to think about death. Second, to actively grieve. Third, to make space for death stories. By giving our attention to death, we begin to see that Christ is the centre of life and is our life too.
Community is shaped by the conversations we share. These questions and reflections are a tool to help you meaningfully engage with the themes of this week's teaching.
Connect: Bobbi begins by guiding us to ground ourselves in small delights of our life. This can help us navigate when we give our attention to heavy matters. You’re invited to do the same here.
Q: What’s a small comfort—like Bobbi’s example of the smell of coffee, or the warmth of sunshine—that brings you delight in difficult seasons?
Share: Bobbi explores Jesus in Matthew 9 through the lens of the two types of death. These can be, at times, obvious to see or, at other times, hard to see around us. In regard to the hemorrhaging woman Bobbi says,
"I’m going to argue that ‘small d’ death is clinging to this woman, sure. I mean, how long can you survive in the ancient world after a decade of hemorrhaging? ‘Small d’ death clings to her like it clings to us all.
But that’s not all that clings to this woman.
‘Big D’ death is there too. It’s in the way she has been marginalized. Set aside. Avoided. What has made her life so miserable is how the situation has dehumanized her. Replaced love and mercy with fear and ostracization.
Jesus does not only see past what hurts her body, this source of ‘small d’ death. But when he turns and really sees her, and names her daughter, he addresses the lies of ‘big D’ death, he insists that mercy comes before the law.
And with that, she is restored.”
Q: How might identifying these different losses around you help you on your journey with Christ?
Reflect: Reflect on Jesus at a funeral. Bobbi points us to Jesus when he’s with the leader’s daughter. She says,
“I think we need to experience some form of resurrection before we know it is true.
That’s not as dramatic as it may sound. I mean, Jesus didn’t raise the girl in front of a crowd or make a big scene when he brought her back to life. There are no pyrotechnics here. He just takes her hand in his own. It’s a quiet story.
Maybe so much of what we’re doing as we make meaning in our lives is practicing quiet resurrection too, so we can be ready for something bigger and stranger up ahead.
Maybe you know a quieter resurrection when you hear of kindness and forgiveness in places of devastation.
Maybe you know a quieter resurrection when you survive a horror and it somehow makes you someone you’re really proud to be.
Maybe you know a quieter resurrection when the spring blossoms bloom out of dormant, winter branches.”
Q: What do you think about Bobbi’s words here; what do you think of this idea of experiencing a “quiet resurrection”?
Engage: Engage with the question of, “how do we live in the shadow of death and dying?” On the topic, Bobbi says,
“Learning to die requires attention.
Jesus prepared his friends throughout his ministry and prayed an anguished prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane to prepare himself.
He instructed John to care for his bereaved mother, and he even kept the scars of death in his wounded but resurrected body.”
Q: What do these details about Jesus’ life teach you about how to engage with your own mortality?
Take away: What is your takeaway from the message or today’s conversation?
Prayer from the sermon:
Loving God,
We take a moment to sit with grief.
To let it rise up and to simply acknowledge it.
The world that you have made evolves
Because death gives way to more life.
May we be brave as we face our mortality
And as we hope for and live for the mystery of what might come next.
Jesus, you lived in ordinary and eternal time
May you lead us securely through both.
Spirit of the resurrected one,
Enter the places of our grief and our sorrow
And heal us of all that harms us.
Amen.
CALL TO WORSHIP Psalm 113
MUSIC Curated by Curt Muller
Elevation Worship - Praise
Cody Carnes - Simple Kingdom
Hillsong Worship - Never Walk Alone
Bethel Music - Heaven Come

EUCHARIST INVITATION
Written by Scott Wall
This Thursday is the Feast of the Ascension — a day that marks our joyous, yearly return to a central mystery of Christian faith.
That in Christ’s departure after resurrection blessing still rests on those who carry his peaceful presence in the world. That in Christ’s absence we receive one another as sign and signal of the Spirit’s work that has continued ever since.
And so, in step with our Ascension celebration, we come to receive the Eucharist today.

Gathered and blessed as witnesses to God’s wide, expansive welcome.
Pray with me

Risen and ascended Christ,
In you we are swept up by redemption’s great and wondrous work

As we gather around your table again may we celebrate that in you glory and grace are not Heaven-bound, but gifted to the world.
Amen.

SERIES BUMPER
Strange New World