The Hidden Hero: Esau and the Work of Reconciliation
Giving Credit Where It's Due
Recently, I preached a sermon on the story of Jacob and Esau. And at the end of that teaching, I found myself giving a lot of credit to Esau. Because, let’s be honest, Jacob is the scoundrel in the story. He lies, cheats, and manipulates his way through life. But it’s Esau who shows up at the end as someone deeply transformed.
We don’t get to see Esau’s growth on the page. His journey unfolds in the silence between the lines. But it must have happened, because when the two brothers are finally reunited, it’s Esau who welcomes Jacob. It’s Esau who initiates reconciliation. It’s Esau who steps through years of pain and hurt, extending something that Jacob can’t even imagine is possible.
That kind of healing doesn’t just happen. It takes time, reflection, courage. Esau, in all the ways we didn’t get to witness directly, becomes the hero of this story.
But Doesn’t God Hate Esau?
After sharing that message, someone reached out and challenged my interpretation. They pointed to Romans: "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated." That phrase can stop us in our tracks. It sounds definitive, stark, unyielding.
But let’s not forget: Paul is quoting the prophet Malachi here. And context always matters.
Understanding Malachi's Message
Malachi begins with God declaring love for Israel: "I have loved you." But the people push back—"How have you loved us?"
God’s response? A comparison: Jacob and Esau. Israel and Edom. Not as individuals, but as nations. God invites Israel to see the big picture, to notice divine presence and care woven through their story.
This is prophetic language. It’s meant to shake, to awaken. It’s not a decree about eternal favoritism. It’s a call to perspective. It says, open your eyes. Look around. Recognize the ways God has been near, even when you’ve felt forgotten.
Reframing Divine Love
To read this as God loving some people and hating others distorts the message. It pulls us away from the expansive love that Paul also affirms later in Romans:
"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God."
That includes Esau. That includes you. That includes everyone you’re tempted to exclude.
The Invitation of Esau
So yes, let’s give Esau his flowers. He deserves them. Because he models what it looks like to do the inner work—the hard, unseen work of healing—and then to show up, ready to reconcile.
Is reconciliation always possible? No. It takes two. But Esau shows us what it means to be ready. To offer forgiveness. To be the one who cuts through history and pain with love.
And maybe the bigger invitation is this: Don’t get distracted by decontextualized verses used to gatekeep divine love. Instead, look around. Notice the blessings near you. Do the healing work. And when you're ready, be the one who meets Jacob on the road home.
