A Riddle Starts a War: Samson & the Escalation of Revenge

The Beginning of a Messy Tale

One of the most famous figures in the Book of Judges is Samson. And while many of us might jump straight to Delilah and the dramatic haircut, his story actually starts much earlier. Judges 14 introduces us to a young Hebrew man who falls in love with a Philistine woman. Predictably, his family objects—they want him to find a nice Jewish girl. But Samson is sure: this is the one. Eventually, everyone gets on board and they plan a party to celebrate the upcoming wedding.

A Riddle With No Answer

At the party, Samson proposes a bet to his new in-laws: solve a riddle and win 30 fancy linen outfits. If they fail, they owe him the same. The riddle? "Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet." But this isn't a real riddle. It's an inside joke based on a personal experience: Samson once killed a lion and later found bees nesting in its carcass. No one else could possibly guess it.

So when his new relatives struggle to find the answer, they pressure Samson's fiancée to coax it out of him. She does, they win the bet, and Samson is furious. So angry, in fact, that he leaves the party, kills 30 Philistines to get their linen outfits, hands over the clothes, and walks away—before the wedding even happens.

A Spiraling Cycle of Revenge

Time passes. Judges says it was the season of the wheat harvest when Samson decides to visit his wife. But he's told she married someone else. His response? "I have a right to get even."

He captures 300 foxes, ties them together in pairs, sets their tails on fire, and lets them loose in the town. The grain, vineyards, and olive groves all go up in flames. The townspeople blame the woman and her family, killing them in retaliation. Samson, in turn, attacks and kills those responsible. Then the Philistines prepare to attack Judah. To avoid conflict, Judah's leaders agree to hand Samson over. But he breaks free, finds a donkey's jawbone, and kills a thousand men.

He even writes a little poem about it: "With a donkey's jawbone I have made donkeys of them; with a donkey's jawbone I have killed a thousand men."

A Satirical Warning

It's an awful story. Embarrassing. Brutal. Not fit for Sunday school. But it's not without purpose. It leads into the more familiar tale of Delilah, yes, but this earlier narrative offers a different kind of lesson.

Samson says in Judges 15:11, "I merely did to them what they did to me." That line might be one of the most insightful verses in the Bible. How often have we justified our actions with similar words? Maybe not with violence, but certainly with self-righteousness. "I'm just responding. I'm only doing what was done to me."

The story of Samson is there to show us how foolish that thinking can be.

The Problem of Isolation

Samson tricks his in-laws, they trick him back. He gets mad, leaves. She marries someone else. He burns the fields. They kill her. He kills them. They prepare for war. He escalates. And in the end, a thousand people are dead over what started as a bad joke.

This is what happens when revenge escalates. It's satire. A caricature of what unfolds when we are untethered from community. When our internal narratives spiral unchecked. When we have no one to say, "Bro, you need to touch grass."

Building a Better Way Forward

Samson never had that friend. And truthfully, neither do we—unless we choose to be intentional about building spaces of vulnerability. About nurturing relationships where intimacy is not accidental but foundational.

It's not just online communities that offer only curated versions of ourselves. Sometimes our churches are guilty of that too. And we need to be aware of how easily our grievances get echoed back to us, validated by algorithms and groupthink, until our perspectives are so narrow we can't see a way out.

But there's a different path. One that involves intentionality, risk, and investment. The kind of relationships that stretch us, challenge us, call us to live bigger lives.

And no, you won't build that in a day. Probably not even in a year. But step by step, choice by choice, over days and months and yes, even years—you can find yourself in a place that is far more resilient than where you started.

You can build a life with people who help you pause, breathe, reflect. Who help you write a different kind of story.