By Genesis 33, a lot has happened in Jacob's life. He literally wrestled an angel, saw the face of God, and lived to tell the tale, for goodness sake. And yet here in the climactic moment, about to meet his brother, the only story Jacob has available to him is the one that took shape all those years ago when Esau was at his most vulnerable. For Jacob, Esau is still exactly who he was when, in a moment of anger, he lashed out in frustration. And maybe part of the problem here is that Jacob wonders if he's still that same person too. People change. And maybe it's time for us to let go of some old stories we're holding on to about the people in our lives.

The truth is we don’t subscribe to the specifics of Paul’s sexual ethic today—at all. Paul has some good stuff to say about marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7 he talks about how we use our bodies and sexuality mutually. Really progressive stuff in the first century.

We often hear Jesus' teachings on sexuality and assume he was against desire but that approach fragments our humanity and sets up unreasonable expectations. A better way to understand Jesus' teaching is to hear his caution not against sexual desire but against the dehumanizing of another human being into an object to be used.

Even though forgiveness and reconciliation and deeply intertwined they are two different steps in our lives.